Impatience is a disease

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I got inspired to write this post from the book : Seeking wisdom from darwin to munger by Peter Bevelin
Mahatma Gandhi said: 
“Restlessness and impatience are two diseases and both of them shorten life”
We give more weight to the present than to the future. We seek pleasure today at a cost of what may be better in the future. We prefer an immediate reward to a delayed but maybe larger reward. We spend today what we should save for tomorrow. This means that we may pay a high price in the future for a small immediate reward. For example, we buy things we can’t afford on credit cards.
We are impatient in the short run and patient in the far away future. Studies show that we tend to become less patient when rewards are more immediate. Our discount rates (the values we assign to something) are higher in the short run than in the long run. For example, when a small reward is due tomorrow and a larger reward is due in one year, people often prefer the small immediate reward. But
when the small reward is due in one year and the larger reward in two years, people tend to prefer the larger long-term reward. Studies show that one explanation for this is that outcomes occurring in the future are perceived as less certain.
Michel de Montaigne said:
“I conceive that pleasures are to be avoided if greater pains be the consequence, and pains to be coveted that will terminate in greater pleasures.”
Consider both the short and long-term consequences of a decision. Weigh present good/bad against future good/bad. Short-term suffering may lead to long term pleasure.
We show the impatience in our daily life at many places like while buying groceries and standing in line for payment, we are not able to bear the wait for our turn, People want to get rich fast but don’t want to put proper effort and don’t want to give time,
people want to reach their destination fast during journey from one place to another place but in the process they forget to enjoy the beauty of the journey…..you can use the same analogy for life as well like people want to be happy and for it they continuously put effort but in the process they forget to enjoy the small moments like play with your kid, spend time with your parents, spend time with your wife etc.
“Life is short, so in the process of to reach somewhere in future, don’t spoil your present”
There is solution to your impatience like:
         While in queue for payment, instead of looking for your turn just stand and start reading any book-this trick you can use all the places where you need to wait.
         Instead of getting rich quickly, just start your regular SIP in good wealth generating system and keep it for long time. It’s up to you how much is enough? Remember-money is not everything.
         Things will take their time to accomplish, so instead of wanting everything now, just have patience and wait.
         Meditation-This is the solution for all bad behavior of a man.
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Keep reading, keep suggesting and keep learning.
-Mahesh

Sairat – A Love story

Reading Time: 5 minutes

“Love has no language” 

It is too late to write on the movie-Sairat. The movie is release in 2016 and i have watched the movie yesterday in 2018 March.

After watching the movie, i feel blessed that the almighty have given me the blessings to watch the movie and a lifelong experience from this movie.

 

The movie Sairat is a Marathi movie and i don’t know Marathi but as i said Love has no language, so need to learn Marathi to watch the movie and experience the emotions the movie conveyed.

I loved the movie so much that it forced me to write about the movie here.

Movie plot: (Source – Wikipedia)

“The film follows the story of Prashant Kale, aka Parshya, a low-caste young boy, and of Archana Patil, aka Archi, a daughter of a rich “upper caste landlord”. Parshya, although poor, has a good academic record, is good at reading and is the captain and the star player of the local cricket team. Archi is a strong willed girl, who is also academically proficient, but more importantly, known as a headstrong girl who enjoys ‘masculine’ tasks, like driving a tractor or riding a Royal Enfield Bulletmotorcycle. As they both study in college together, it is observed that they slowly start falling for each other. Early on, Archi’s large and muscular maternal cousin Manya tries to intervene and beat up Parshya, but is ordered to stay away by Archi. They slowly find ways to spend time with each other and fall in love.At a celebration of Archi’s misbehaved younger brother, Prince’s birthday, they are discovered by Archi’s family. Archi’s father, being politically connected proceeds to thrash Parshya and his friends. Eventually realizing that there is no way out, Archi and Parshya make an attempt to elope. However, they are discovered by police and taken into custody. There, Archi’s father forces the police to register a false complaint alleging that Archi was gang raped by Parshya and his friends. Realizing this, Archi intervenes and destroys the complaint, insisting that Parshya and his friends be released. Soon after they are released, however, Archi’s father’s goons begin to thrash Parshya and his friends. Seeing this from a distance, Archi intervenes and seizes a pistol from the goons, threatening to fire unless they are released. Soon Parshya and Archi catch a running train and escape the confines of the small town to Hyderabad.In the city of Hyderabad, Archi and Parshya are broke and desperate. Surviving off what little they have, they try for accommodation in a lodge but they are refused accommodation. In frustration, they sleep at the railway station, contemplating their next move. One night, a few men come and awaken them, insisting that they come to the police station. On the way, they begin to drag Parshya and beat him up, while another attempts to rape Archi. However, a lady from the nearby slum, Suman Akka bravely intervenes, brandishing a stick, stepping in and saving the duo from the rogues. Akka stays with her young son, Sanket.Akka offers Parshya and Archi a spare shanty to live in, and helps Archi find employment in a nearby bottling factory, while Parshya starts working as a cook at Akka’s Dosa stall. Archi gradually picks up Telugu with the help of her factory colleague Pooja. Archi starts to miss her home as she does not feel comfortable living in the slums. Archi and Parshya start to make a meagre hand to mouth existence, trying to make the most of the situation with mutual love. However, differences start to crop up in their relationship and they begin to fight with each other a lot. After one of the heated arguments with Parshya, Arshi decides to go back home by train, leaving Parshya but she changes her mind and returns to him. In due course, Archi and Parshya get married in the Registrar’s office where Akka and Pooja stand as witnesses. Subsequently, Archi is shown pregnant and the story moves forward by a few years.Parshya and Archi are now living in a better location and are more well-off. Archi phones her mother from an under construction flat complex, which they have come to see and then hands the phone to her young son Aakash. After the phone call, Archi’s brother Prince and his relatives arrive, carrying gifts from her mother, hinting at reconciliation. Aakash goes to visit a neighbour while Archi and Parshya invite Prince and the other visitors into the flat and serve them tea.The toddler returns with the neighbour and is left at their doorstep. The door is open and the baby enters and discovers that his parents have been hacked to death. Visibly troubled and unable to comprehend the gruesome nature of the honor killing, he walks off and the movie ends.

The movie starts with a simple upper cast girl and lower class boy love story and end with a very serious issue “Honor Killing”.

I feel Honor killing is the worst act a human being can do. This allows the person to kill another person who is his/her blood relative and why to kill to save the so called honor.  This is a Simple thing to understand that everyone have right to leave their life by their will. 

We human need to understand that the society, Law, Religion is for the people, not the opposite. These worldly rituals are made to bring the people close to each other but we are using it in opposite manner. No religion or culture teaches us to hate.

With the end of the movie, i feel very bad, that we are in 2018 and dreaming of digitized India, New India and comparing ourselves with the developed country and still among us there are some people who are still narrow minded. I totally honor their thought as well but it should not allow killing anyone. If they have problem then talk to the love birds, make them understand or understand from them, but kill them is not at all good.

“There is no honor in killing” 

By this post, i don’t want to heart anyone’s feeling, i am just sharing my feeling here and putting my thought on this.

Now come back to movie-Sairat

The star cast of the movie is wonderful, they acted first time and they are just 16-18 years age group.

The movie is starred by Rinku Rajguru as Archana Patil and Akash Thosar as Prashant kale. The movie is directed by Nagraj Manjule and produced by Nittin Keni, Nikhil Sane. The music is given by Ajay-Atul.  The music of the movie is wonderful. 

I must appreciate the talent of Rinku and Akash, they have acted like a matured actor.

I end this post with the wonderful thought from Charles Martin-

“Love has its own communication. It’s the language of the heart, while it has never been transcribed, has no alphabet, and can’t be heard or spoken by voice, it is used by every human on the planet. It is written on our souls, scripted by the finger of God, and we can hear, understand, and speak it with perfection long before we open our eyes for the first time.”


Please subscribe to the blog and keep reading and keep learning.

-mahesh

Wisdom on Ego from wiser minds of the world

Reading Time: 7 minutes
I am a fan of Ryan Holiday’s work. He have written many wonderful books:
Out of the above books, I have read The Daily Stoic and I really enjoyed the reading and a lot of life lessons learned from the book. I am on my path of lifelong learning and in the journey, I will read other books as well from Ryan Holiday with time.
The below collection of quotes is from Ryan work only, the all credit goes to Ryan.
Ego is an evil thing. Confidence is important but ego is something false. Humility is the way to build confidence, and ego is hugely dangerous in this sport, because if you’re running on ego you aren’t running on good clean emotions or cause and effect. You bypass it to support a false idea. It’s all garbage, the ego is garbage.” Frank Shamrock
“Your ego can become an obstacle to your work. If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity.” Marina Abramovic
“William Burroughs always talks about the world is nothing but allies and enemies. And it’s important to understand what things around you are the enemies and a lot of the time your worst enemy is your ego.” John Frusciante 
“At any moment in life you can convert to realism, which is not a belief system at all, but a way of looking at the world. It means every circumstance, every individual is different, and your task is to measure that difference, then take appropriate action. Your eyes are fixed on the world, not on yourself or your ego.” Robert Greene & 50 Cent
 “You don’t make it far if you have a big ego. The guys that come in here with huge egos get smashed until they learn. Verbal reasoning won’t work, that’s where those guys live…you just gotta smash them until they get humble. And build them back up, if they can stand it.” Greg Jackson
“Whenever the world throws rose petals at you, which thrill and seduce the ego, beware. The cosmic banana peel is suddenly going to appear underfoot to make sure you don’t take it all too seriously, that you don’t fill up on junk food.”Anne Lamott
“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.” Stephen King
“‘Your job is to get on base,’ says my son’s baseball coach. Ego likes a line drive, resulting in a double or triple, but, end of day, the goal of getting on base eclipses the how of getting on base. Just get there.” Callie Oettinger
“From my very first real fighting experience in Thailand, I saw that the best fighters were the most humble. But much like jiu-jitsu, you start to see it as a ‘chicken-and-egg’ problem. Is it that great fighters lose their ego? Or is it that you cannot become great unless you lose your ego? Your ego keeps you out of the zone? Guys who can naturally control big egos do better?” Sam Sheridan
“Thus, a great deal of time and energy in the world of the New England Patriots went into selecting players who were at least partially immune to displays of ego and self. This did not mean Bill Belichick was without ego—far from it. His ego was exceptional, and it was reflected by his almost unique determination. He liked being the best and wanted credit for being the best, a quiet kind of credit. But his ego was about the doing; it was fused into a larger purpose, that of his team winning. It was never about the narcissistic celebration of self that television loved to amplify.” David Halberstam
“Perfectionism is the ego’s wicked demand. It denies us the pleasure of process. Instead, we are told by the ego that we must have instantaneous success— and our perfectionism believes it, lock, stock and barrel.” Julia Cameron
“[Bill Belichick] was a man for better or for worse, remarkably without artifice. He had little gift or interest in modern public relations—if anything, he seemed almost uniquely resistant to it for someone so much, however involuntarily, in the public eye. He was about one thing only—coaching—and wary of anything that detracted from hit, and in his mind, much of the modern media, especially television, did precisely that—not just because it took up time that could be better spent doing other things, like watching a bit of film for the tenth or eleventh time and working with assistant coaches, but because it was singularly dangerous, it fed egos, and swollen egos detracted from the essence of football, which was the idea of team. Modern media created a Me-Me-Me world, whereas he insisted on a We world.” David Halberstam
“I don’t want to see you. I don’t like you. I don’t like your face. You look like an insufferable egotist. You’re impertinent. You’re too sure of yourself. Twenty years ago I would have punched your face with the greatest of pleasure.” Ayn Rand
“[Level 5 leaders] are somewhat self-effacing individuals who deflect adulation, yet who have an almost Stoic resolve to do absolutely whatever it takes to make the company great, channeling their ego needs away from themselves and into the larger goal of building a great company. It’s not that Level 5 leaders have no ego or self-interest. Indeed, they are incredibly ambitious—but their ambition is first and foremost for the institution and its greatness, not for themselves.” Jim Collins
“Our job, as souls on this mortal journey, is to shift the seat of our identity from the ego to the Self. That’s it.” Steven Pressfield
“Resistance seems to come from outside ourselves. We locale it in spouses, jobs, bosses, kids. “Peripheral opponents,” as Pat Riley used to say when he coached the Los Angeles Lakers. Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. Resistance arises from within. It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. Resistance is the enemy within.” Steven Pressfield
“Leaders must be willing to put the ship’s performance ahead of their egos.”Michael Abrashoff 
 “The great corrupter of public men is the ego—corrupter because distracter.” Dean Acheson
“Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.” Colin Powell
“There’s no ego. Ego is the enemy, really. Being able to communicate in clear, concise fashion and make decisions as quickly as you possibly can. Knowing that first and foremost, we’re looking out for what’s best in the organization.” Seahawks GM John Schneider 
“Ego says ‘I can do no wrong’, whereas confidence says ‘I can get this right.’ Confidence says ‘I’m valuable’ while ego says ‘I’m invaluable.’” Todd Henry
“The challenges they had faced together had taught them humility—the need to subsume their individual egos for the sake of the boat as a whole—and humility was the common gateway through which they were able now to come together and begin to do what they had not been able to do before.” Daniel James Brown
“I believe that the biggest problem that humanity faces is an ego sensitivity to finding out whether one is right or wrong and identifying what one’s strengths and weaknesses are.” Ray Dalio
“Leaders must free their subordinates to fulfill their talents to the utmost. However, most obstacles that limit people’s potential are set in motion by the leader and are rooted in his or her own fears, ego needs, and unproductive habits. When leaders explore deep within their thoughts and feelings in order to understand themselves, a transformation can take shape.” Michael Abrashoff
“So here’s what you do: You say, “I have no ego at all.” Let’s start that way. “I have no ego, no cause to puff myself up.” Now let’s learn about the cosmic perspective. Yeah, we’re on a planet that’s orbiting a star, and a star is an energy source and it’s giving us energy, and we’re feeling this energy, and life is enabled by this energy in this star. And by the way, there’s a hundred billion other stars that have other planets. [..] So those who see the cosmic perspective as a depressing outlook, they really need to reassess how they think about the world. Because when I look up in the universe, I know I’m small, but I’m also big. I’m big because I’m connected to the universe and the universe is connected to me.” Neil deGrasse Tyson
“Steve Jobs had a remarkable knack for letting go of things that didn’t work. If you were in an argument with him, and you convinced him that you were right, he would instantly change his mind. He didn’t hold on to an idea because he had once believed it to be brilliant. His ego didn’t attach to the suggestions he made, even as he threw his full weight behind them. When Steve saw Pixar’s directors do the same, he recognized them as kindred spirits.” Ed Catmull
“Fight your own pride and ego and be open-minded and always learning new techniques, new things from anyone.” Sam Sheridan
“Egotism sucks us down like the law of gravity.” Cyril Connolly
“The hallucination of separateness prevents one from seeing that to cherish the ego is to cherish misery. We do not realize that our so-called love and concern for the individual is simply the other face of our own fear of death or rejection. In his exaggerated valuation of separate identity, the personal ego is sawing off the branch on which he is sitting, and then getting more and more anxious about the coming crash!” Alan Watts
“But there is another side [of ego] that can wreck a team or an organization. That is being distracted by your own importance. It can come from your insecurity in working with others. It can be the need to draw attention to yourself in the public arena. It can be a feeling that others are a threat to your own territory. These are all negative manifestations of ego, and if you are not alert to them, you get diverted and your work becomes diffused. Ego in these cases makes people insensitive to how they work with others and ends up interfering with the real goal of any group efforts.” Bill Walsh Interview
“Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.” Emily Brontë
“We’re all the stars of our own movies, but cutting back on the number of Do you know who I am? thoughts made my life infinitely smoother. When you don’t dig in your heels and let your ego get into entrenched positions from which you mount vigorous, often irrational defenses, you can navigate tricky situations in a much more agile way. For me humility was a relief, the opposite of humiliation.” Dan Harris
“The most striking features of the ego are three cognitive biases, which correspond disturbingly to thought control and propaganda devices that are to be defining characteristics of a totalitarian political system. The three biases are: egocentricity (self perceived as more central to events than it is), “beneffectance” (self perceived as selectively responsible for desired, but not undesired, outcomes), and conservatism (resistance to cognitive change).” Tony Greenwald, Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington
“But what about the huge egos of guys like Michael Jordan, who needed control over the court? Or Kobe Bryant? Their monstrous egos obviously don’t keep them out of the zone—Jordan’s the defining athlete of the concept. I can imagine it’s because they can compartmentalize and, in the moment, remove any trace of self-consciousness from what they do. They control it, like they control everything else. And they’re at peace with it, with taking the pressure shot.” Sam Sheridan
“[Bill Belichick] was completely dedicated to fighting off the virus caused by too much ego, all too aware of what it could do to his dominating purpose — playing championship-level team football. But a man like that, who was so driven to win, and who excelled again and again at such a high level, was hardly without ego. Instead, he had learned how to make his ego work for him, and to keep it from being a negative force.” David Halberstam
“When ego is gone, you wake up in the middle of the circle and now you’re a part of—not apart from—Life, Good, God.” Chuck C.
“The egotist does not stumble about, knocking things off his desk. He does not stammer or drool. No, instead, he becomes more and more arrogant, and some people, not knowing what is underneath such an attitude, mistake his arrogance for a sense of power and self-​­confidence.” Harold Geneen
“My opponent is my teacher. My ego is my enemy” Renzo Gracie
Thanks & Regards,
Mahesh

Contrast comparison-we value things depend on what we compare them with

Reading Time: 4 minutes
It is human psychology of comparison, we value things depend on what we compare them with.

While reading the book Seeking wisdom from Darwin to Munger by Peter Bevelin i come to know many real life examples of this psychological effect.

Observe it – Fill one bucket with cold water, another with hot water, and a third with water at room temperature. Put one hand in the bucket of cold water and the other hand in the bucket of hot water. Then put both your hands in the bucket of room temperature water. What happens? You will feel that your cold hand feels warmer and that your warm hand feels colder.

We judge stimuli by differences and changes and not absolute magnitudes. 

For example, we evaluate stimuli like temperature, loudness, brightness, health, status, or prices based on their contrast or difference from a reference point (the prior or concurrent stimuli or what we have become used to). This reference point changes with new experiences and context. This means that how we value things depend on what we compare them with.

The order in which something is presented matters

Sales people often try to sell the more costly item first. We are out buying a computer and some diskettes. In comparison to $1,500 computer, diskettes at $10 seem like a bargain. After we buy the big ticket items, the add-ons seem cheap in comparison.

Experiments have shown that we go across town to save $10 on a clock radio but not to save $10 on a large-screen TV. The difference between $100 and $110 seems like a larger saving than the difference between $2850 and $2860. But it’s the same $10 saving.

A hotel has been renting rooms for $100 a night. The day after a hurricane, the hotel raises its prices to $150. Studies show that we consider this unfair. We determine what is fair or not in reference to what we have been used to. This means that policies that have habit-forming consequences may be hard to reverse if they are seen as a loss.

The same thing may appear attractive when compared to less attractive things and unattractive when compared to more attractive things. 

For example, studies show that a person of average attractiveness is seen as less attractive when compared to highly attractive others.

Charles Munger gives another example:

“In my generation, when women lived at home until they got married, I saw some perfectly terrible marriages made by highly desirable women because they lived
in terrible homes. And I’ve seen some terrible second marriages which were made because they were slight improvements over an even worse first marriage.”

In one experiment, a group of people was asked to choose between $6 and an elegant pen. Most choose the cash. Another group of people was asked to choose between $6, the elegant pen, or an inferior pen. Most choose the elegant pen. By adding an inferior option, another option seemed more attractive.

One more example – Mary is looking at houses. The real estate broker knows that the house he is
trying to sell Mary is in poor shape and a bad area. He starts by showing Mary bad properties in an ugly neighborhood. Afterwards, he takes her to the house he wanted to sell all along. Suddenly this house and the area seem great in comparison to the other houses she saw.

Another example of contrast comparison is when we interview one job candidate after another.

In accounting ex-Satyam fraud

“If we slowly and gradually over time manipulate the numbers, the auditors won’t
notice it.”

Contrasts may blind us to change until it’s too late. For example, we often don’t notice the bad behavior of others if it goes sour gradually over time.

Often we see reality as constant, although it gradually changes. A stimulus must reach an absolute threshold before we can detect it. Before we notice a change in a stimulus, a certain relative change most occur. If the change is slow enough, we don’t notice the change. Our ability to detect and react to changes in a stimulus decreases as its magnitude increases. To a small stimulus, only a small
amount must be added. To a larger stimulus, a large amount must be added.

Sometimes it is the small, gradual, invisible changes that harm us the most.

Warren Buffett says:

“One of the problems in society is that the most important issues are often these incremental type things.” 

He continues:

The world is not going to come to an end because tomorrow there are 200 or 250 thousand
more people on the planet than there were today. That’s about the number it grows every
day … it is like eating about 300 calories more each day than you burn up; it has no effect on
you today. You don’t get up from the table and all of a sudden everybody says, “My God, you
look fat compared to when you sat down!” But, if you keep doing it over time, the
incremental problems are hard to attack because that one extra piece of pie doesn’t really seem
to make a difference. The 250,000 people tomorrow don’t seem to make any difference, but the cumulative effects of them will make a huge difference over time, just like overeating will
make a huge difference over time. The time to attack those problems is early.

So what is the solution of contrast comparison in our daily life, as peter Bevelin suggested-

“Evaluate people and objects by themselves and not by their contrast.”

Disclosure- This entire article is taken from the book Seeking wisdom from Darwin to Munger by Peter Bevelin, so all the wisdom credit goes to Peter Bevelin. I am just using his wisdom and posting this post here, so other can also get benefited from Peter Bevelin wisdom and i strongly recommend to read his books.
Thanks,
Mahesh

Envy and Jealousy

Reading Time: 2 minutes
Man will do many things to get himself loved;
he will do all things to get himself envied.
-MarkTwain

From the book: Seeking wisdom from Darwin to Munger by Peter Bevelin

Aristotle said: “Envy is pain at the good fortune of others.”

We evaluate our own situation by comparing what we have with what others have.

Aristotle said:

“We envy those who are near us in time, place, age or reputation.” 
It is people similar to us we envy most. Financial historian Charles P. Kindleberger says in Manias, Panics, and Crashes: “There is nothing so disturbing to one’s well-being and judgment as to see a friend get rich.” For example, studies show that how happy we are is partly determined by where we stand in relation to similar others.The 19th Century German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said: ”As Hobbes observes, all mental pleasure consists in being able to compare oneself with others

to one’s own advantage.” We are jealous when we perceive a threat to a valued relationship. Studies show that jealousy is ranked among the top three motives for murder.

You can find a funny envy example in the movie 3 Idiot when Rancho gets first rank then farhan and Raju’s reaction is worth noting down of the human tendency on envy.

You can the video here:

Bertrand Russell said that envy is one of the fundamental causes of human
suffering. The 18th Century French philosopher and mathematician Marquis de
Condorcet said: 
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.”

As long as you achieve your goals, it shouldn’t matter if someone else does better.
Studies show that it matters whether we believe that others deserve their success.
Aristotle said: 
“The best way to avoid envy is to deserve the success you get.”

It’s good if instead of thinking others achievements, we think about yourself that what improvement we need in ourselves. Thing about others make us measurable and give pain, so work on yourself. Make god habits. Read good books. Learn from everything and implement in your own life.
Thanks & Regards,
Mahesh